See this new painting at Noso Vita Cafe in Ojai!
Posts Tagged ‘oil’
I turned this face red to illustrate the idea of being ashamed, or full of shame. The few times in my own life when I have felt shame, in my youth, gladly saying, I could feel my face turn hot and blush. Something I had no control over, because blushing is an automatic reaction. Like crying, while there is an ability to hold back, emotions will prevail and reveal. Revealing the depth of that sensation stemming from the reality of one’s feelings which is something intangible unless one is a pyschopath. I think shame is different than embarrassment although they are both from the same family. There have been some occassions in my life where I have witnessed shaming and find it horrifying and more than that, horrifying that I did nothing. I’m more ashamed of doing nothing or saying nothing than being the recipient of shame, because ultimately, the recipient of shame has less culpability than the person who shamed them, or the person who stood by. There is some degree of acquiesence, for the person who is young and helpless under the control of adults, but as an adult, given a circumstance, I could not stand idly by. There is a rage in me that will exude. Exude for the times I have been shamed and for the times I shouldn’t have been and for the times others have been cruely treated and their voicelessness. In humiliation. Shameful.
oil on canvas
off on a tangent
Helping, Fixing, Serving
Service is not the same as helping. Helping is based on inequality, it’s not a relationship between equals. When you help, you use your own strength to help someone with less strength. It’s a one up, one down relationship, and people feel this inequality. When we help, we may inadvertently take away more than we give, diminishing the person’s sense of self-worth and self-esteem.
Now, when I help I am very aware of my own strength, but we don’t serve with our strength, we serve with ourselves. We draw from all our experiences: our wounds serve, our limitations serve, even our darkness serves. The wholeness in us serves the wholeness in the other, and the wholeness in life. Helping incurs debt: when you help someone, they owe you. But service is mutual. When I help I have a feeling of satisfaction, but when I serve I have a feeling of gratitude.
Serving is also different to fixing. We fix broken pipes, we don’t fix people. When I set about fixing another person, it’s because I see them as broken. Fixing is a form of judgement that separates us from one another; it creates a distance.
So, fundamentally, helping, fixing and serving are ways of seeing life. When you help, you see life as weak; when you fix, you see life as broken; and when you serve, you see life as whole.
When we serve in this way, we understand that this person’s suffering is also my suffering, that their joy is also my joy and then the impulse to serve arises naturally – our natural wisdom and compassion presents itself quite simply. A server knows that they’re being used and has the willingness to be used in the service of something greater. We may help or fix many things in our lives, but when we serve, we are always in the service of wholeness.
–by Rachel Remen, from Zen Hospice (May 29, 2000)
Oil on canvas
I was thinking of Rapunzel when I started this, but she just does not seem like a Rapunzel, so I gave her a pair of scissors and I’m calling it Hair Cut~~
The tones in her face remind me a bit of Dave Cooper’s work which I love. Not familiar with Dave Cooper? here is a link, though it was hard to find a gallery with several works showing:
Also found this animated cartoon with his images which is a delightfully twisted, contorted, bubbly ride. The bouncy character animation is just as I might imagine and the raunchy romp in jello at the end is fitting!
Lots to do today.