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Posts Tagged ‘ornie’
we have a gigantic dumpster outside of our home because we are remodeling our master bath room which is the size of a small bedroom. Floor, walls, tub, shower, everything.
It occurred to me after reading a post by my thoughtful friend Maripat who is cleaning her office which she has not been able to use due to the piles and piles of stuff which she says is a reflection of her state of being. I have always thought that clutter is an indicator of a cluttered mind and a cluttered heart.
I thought about this weekend and how having that huge dumpster outside triggered a whole lot of cleaning. The hub and I spent time cleaning and purging crap from the back yard, I have a lot of potted plants and enjoy gardening, so stuff and growth accumulate. We threw away a pile of wood that we have had for five years thinking every year that this year we will burn it in the fire place but we never do. (And tossing it meant we also got rid of a great big black widow and her egg sacks).~~ I realized I was acting a bit like a hoarder by saving pottery shards. I suddenly saw all the bits and parts of broken pots that I save to use to cover the drainage holes at the bottom of clay pots when transplanting because the soil will come out. This is a very good reason but I really only need to keep one small pot worth! Its like hoarders who save bits of newspaper. The backyard is reorganized and clean, in my effort to not waste having a dumpster. The master bedroom is as clean as it was when we first moved in, because I had to empty it. The work on the bathroom created so much dust the surfaces and wood work had to be cleaned. wow it feels good!! So good that we are spending a little time each day of this week chipping away at the garage. The three car garage that currently only fits one car. There is a lot of big furniture pieces and tech equipment, art stuff and packaging material (I hate to pay for card board boxes) and I go through phases of selling a lot of art online or having to mail stuff out for shows. But it can all be paired down and re-evaluated.
Any way the whole point of this post is to draw a parallel between the dumpster, the purging and cleaning of our home and the purging and cleaning of emotions. okay don’t snicker. Back to my wise friend Maripat whose post about cleaning her office was succinctly tied into "loss". And it made me think about and try to understand why people, including myself hang on to stuff. Saving, keeping, clinging, holding on. Holding on because letting go can be painful. For anyone who has experienced loss, you know it is painful. Now I am a little closer to understanding how hoarders may feel. Understanding the root of something can help a person to process their emotions and take them to a closer place of healing and moving on rather than holding on.
Maripat says"I believe that for many, at the root of depression is unprocessed grief, and the inability to name the losses that led to the grief. Loss comes in all sizes, shapes and colors. What is loss for one person is just a minor annoyance for another. One loss triggers reliving other losses when one is not mindful of being in a state of grief. The experience of a loss is not a one time thing, grief is part of being human. Every loss is unique to the individual.
In some cultures it is believed that knowing someone’s name gives you power over that person. I suppose that may be true. I see the verity of that in being able to name the losses that wound us. Sometimes we hesitate to name out loud the losses that we feel, fearing the judgment of others who might see us shallow, or their lack of understanding of the depth of our loss, dismissal of our loss as insignificant."
So again, I was thinking of that big dumpster and how it can serve as a metaphor for purging junk or useless or needless material stuff. One might imagine having an emotional dumpster with an artery from the heart. Unloading the stuff that is clogging the artery to the healthy heart. Purging negativity, stress, allowing oneself to let go of sadness due to loss, because letting go of grief does not mean you loved the person any less, its allowing for a period of sadness and then letting go so the heart can heal. The artery from the brain, equally important. Peace of mind stills the heart to a healthy beat.
Reflecting each day by by journaling, and naming out loud that which needs processing, so that the walls will hear you. And the furniture and the clothes, the clocks, the floors, that space that surrounds you.
After that dumpster goes I will continue practicing the purging and the cleaning.
And, I see that my neighbors are too
note: I’m not advocating throwing away good stuff or re-cyclables.
Silence Widens like the ocean;
Here in silence let her drown
Love, and stripped of all emotion,
Like an iron ship go down.
In weariness the storms have died,
Anger now has left her free;
Anquish was an icier tide,
Sorrow was a saltier sea
Than this cool and tranquil billow
Where, so insecurely dead
And longing for a stonier pillow
Deeply now she sinks her head
Marjorie Allen Seiffert
Love has a hem to her garment,
that reaches the very dust.
It sweeps the stains
from the streets and lanes,
and because it can, it must.