Posts Tagged ‘brother’

Fed Ex

Thursday, May 6th, 2010

Fed Ex arrived with a sweet bouquet of roses for Mother’s Day from my very sentimental brother. Its good to be loved. I hope all the mommas out there are duly honored, after all, you wouldn’t be here without one.


Small mini pale apricot colored roses, adorable.

At the base, forms for my watermelon birds in three dee

Based on a dream I had, where I saw a batch of watermelon birds flying right at me in full color.

I designed my piece for the Canteen Gallery in Canada with them in mind. You see the watermelon birds spitting their black seeds at a naked impostor!

watermelon birds

I plan to do a painting as well, but the birdies will have human faces.

the best thing about being an artist; letting your imagination go where it will…

And everything else too, cuz for me nothing is quite as wonderful as living the art full life.

Especially on a gorgeous southern California day like today, what a gift!


Tuesday, March 9th, 2010

Wish I could say they are mine, my brother breeds them, I am so in love

The little milk belly just keels me


From left Lil Girl, Astroman and Rocket man!

Birthday Boy

Friday, August 21st, 2009



My brother is having a birthday this month, I designed a card for him.

Day of the Dead

Saturday, November 3rd, 2007

Yesterday was the first productive day I have had in three weeks, it felt soooooo good to be productive, actually got my printer to cooperate, solved some problems, made phone calls, did errands, painted,  and then was very moved by an act of kindness from a dear friend of mine.

Stacy lives in the Bay area which is where I lived most of my life, my brother is buried there. Stacy and her husband went to his gravesite, (also the site of several family members), created a shrine, and said prayers to honor his passing for Day of the Dead. I had thought she was only going to clean off the tombstone and leave a small bouguet of flowers so I was very surprised to see all she did, I was so very touched by such a selfless act.


Monday, October 29th, 2007

My health took a turn Thursday and got progressively worse until on Sat I thought about going to the ER but called my doctor first and after a brief consultation decided to stick it out till Mon when I could go in to see her because ironically, I can’t think of anything worse than going to the er when in pain, I rather suffer in my bed. So I suffered it out through the weekend, it was hellish, unrelenting Pain, I could not get out of bed and I have not even had the energy to be online. I have eaten almost nothing since Friday because no matter what I would eat my stomach would go beserk and my lower back just seared and I thought for sure I had split an internal organ or two! But no, I’m on three different meds for a bacterial infection!  I’m a bit of a girl sissy when it comes to pain.

I’m also way behind on swaps and projects, hope to catch up soon…

My friend Mavis created a Day of the Dead altar over the weekend and included a pic of my brother (middle right bottom), and a toy Harley, cuz he loved em.  the altar just looks grand.

In Mexico, the festival of Día de los Muertos embodies the greatest expression of both popular Catholicism and the national cuisine. People construct altars in homes and graveyards throughout the country in order to feed the souls of the dead. Church officials recognize two holy days, November 1 (All Saints’ Day), in commemoration of saints and martyrs, and November 2 (All Souls’ Day), in memory of the faithful departed. According to popular belief, the angelitos (deceased children) return on the evening of October 31 and the adults on the following night, although the dates in local celebrations vary all the way from October 28 to November 4. The feast for the dead originated as a form of ancestor worship, and the clergy were long reluctant to incorporate such pagan practices into the liturgical calendar. The festival held particularly strong associations with pre-Hispanic agrarian cults because it coincided with the maize harvest.

Celebrations begin with the cleaning of the graves and the construction of the ofrenda, or altar. At home this consists of a table or platform hung from the ceiling, covered with a white cloth and supporting an arch of palm fronds. The ofrenda are decorated with flowers, particularly the cempasúchil (marigold), the "flower of the dead," as well as the magenta-colored cockscomb, a white gypsophila, gladioli, and carnations. The same flowers are also used to decorate tombs, and the sweet smell of copal, the Native American incense, is ubiquitous. Other altar decorations include images of the deceased as well as papeles picados, colored paper with cutout designs.

The foods offered to the dead vary according to age and taste, but bread, water, and salt are always included. The bread is made from a special egg dough in a round shape, with crisscrossed strips of dough forming bones, and a skull in the center. Sugar candies with similar skull and calavera (skeleton) designs are also popular. In some areas of Oaxaca and Michoacán, bakers shape the bread to resemble humans or animals. Offerings for children are miniature in size and relatively simple: breads, candies, fruits, and milk or soft drinks. The adult dead receive the finest foods, grown-up breads and sugar figures, as well as candied pumpkin and other sweets. More elaborate preparations include mole (turkey in a rich chili sauce) and tamales (corn dumplings stuffed with meat and chili and steamed in husks or banana leaves). The spirits also drink their favorite beverages, whether soft drinks, coffee, chocolate, beer, or tequila. Some people maintain that the level of the liquid decreases overnight, showing that the dead do indeed return to share in the feast.

Dem Bones

Wednesday, October 17th, 2007

Yesterday, I recieved a box of bones from art bud Jen worden ( and serendipitously Reevo (of Ektopia) posted some work of this artist

fantastic, boney surreal creations!!

Not that I could do anything remotely as cool but I do need to think about how I am going to use and transform the already perfect bones into my own creations…

And, while yesterday was full of dreams and some recall, last night was full of dreams with no recall. None the less, yesterday’s dream which included three fleshy fat blocks of art bearing unbilical cords has been on my mind as it seems perfectly good material for some artwork, since both dreams and art are all about the metaphors, at least according to me.

The past few years, and especially since my brother’s death, I have had an intense desire for spirituality and something to truely believe in. It turns out that three, may have to do with this (the sacred holy trinity for example) as well as balance (an important issue for me)and harmony between body,mind,spirit. It can also mean a desire for perfection in creation (the basic principles of art; harmony, balance, color, design, etc). The perfectly squared, compacted fat blocks hung on a wall as if in display in an art gallery, as if to say life and and art and meaning and perfection are connected by the sustaining umbilical cords. Because the works of art were blocks of fat, I see a connection to lipo sucking the no longer necessary uterus, much the way fat isn’t necessary, yet, and because the uterus and the umbilical cord obviously relate to birth, its as if I am giving birth to a new me because an extracted uterus (thinking out loud here) can not give birth to a child, by letting go that possibility, I give labor to myself, and as I mentioned a few posts back, life and art intertwine. And interestingly and ironically, on the Oprah show yesterday, Oprah interviewed Dr. Christiane Northrup who says that "women who are peri menopausal are in labor!!" They are about to give birth to a new self and a new life if they have the where-with-all to listen to what their bodies are telling them and to be sure their hormones and health are all in balance. It is fascinating, how my unconscious has served my consciousness.

A Stitch in Time or:

Saturday, October 6th, 2007

My mom recently brought a dress to me that was made by my Grandma, fondly referred to as Abuelita  (who has been deceased for over 20 years now). She told me that my grandma had never finished it because she didn’t have the zipper thingie on her sewing machine. It was for my third year in school and I had never known about the dress.


I like to stare at it. The adorable, old fashioned fabric remniscent of a simpler more innocent time, it’s crispy thin cotton, the trim she chose and thinking of her sitting at her sewing machine, with me in mind, pinches my heart and gives me heirloom joy.


I want to display it like a work of art. I might make a huge photograph of it, frame it and hang it on a wall. I could turn it into a sculpture piece  but I’m just not sure. I could drench it in paverpol and it would be super stiff but I would not want it to be flat so I would need to create an armature of wire and mesh. I would want it to be full rather than flat. I need to be absolutely certain about what I do with  it because I would be immensely disappointed if I ruined it or regretted changing it.  Yes, its just a thing but its a thing that my Grandma made with love and so it carries meaning. 

I bring this up because, since my brother’s death a few weeks ago, I wake every day pondering life and how the loss of life filters and impacts those who remain.  The thoughts and feelings associated with this have been intensely distracting and I continue to feel anxious and out of sorts and a bit depressed. I try to fill my time as I usually do but  I remain unproductive.



I saw the author of Eat Pray Love on the Oprah show yesterday, so many people have recommended the book and while I have not yet read it, I believe I need to work through my angst, and issues, in much the same way as said author did, by journaling about it. Not a public journal but a private journal. So, I bring this up because I am quite certain that the themes of my life will enter into my art endeavors, in between, outside and beside other projects although, how frequently I can not predict. And so, art and life shall twain. And I don’t see anything wrong with that.



Thursday, September 6th, 2007

I am working on art slowly. Trying to be mindful and live in the moment. Recognizing and changing my compulsive thinking in the wake of my brother’s death, requires careful effort and patience. I wish I had been a better sister.

I am also cleaning my work areas and home to further assist myself with clarity. Clutter not only literally hampers my creativity it nurtures a foggy mind and repetitive thinking and well, I can’t find stuff. A clear indicator of having too much clutter is when I purchase supplies I already have.

I was interested to see these works on flickr by a person also utilizing the theme/idea of cocoons, I like the three d work best.

While the theme is the same, my vision is different and since every thing is derivative especially cocoons, which I probably would not have done had they not logically followed the caterpillher paintings, I will continue to work out my ideas of cocoons. I have worked this way for a long time, that is, I use the exercise of theme and variation and the last piece I make informs the current piece, ie, I (almost) always take something from the last work. Rather than focus on the cocoon itself I want to keep in mind the meaning of cocoon; metamorphosis, change, transition, evolution, incubation, development, concealment, containment. Part of changing is weeding through, weening out, leaving behind, shedding.


Tuesday, September 4th, 2007

It was a sweltering 107 yesterday in my neighborhood, today will go down to two digits.

I spent Fri and Sat with friends in the bay area (where I lived for many years), reconnecting, relaxing and vowing to not let so much time pass without being together. Coincidentally we are reading the same book, The Power of Now by Eckhardt Tolle,  I have an intense desire to believe in something more than what my eyes can see. While I was raised Catholic, I have long since lost faith in its teachings.

 I also met with a friend of my brother’s who had not been able to attend the funeral, two and a half hours passed in minutes, she and her husband cared so much, this meeting brought me great joy.

On the way home, early evening, I put the top down on my convertible car, allowing the warm wind to hit my face as I sped through long stretches of interstate 5, and I wept openly for what was and what wasn’t, while the hills surrounding listened and the vast stretch of sky consoled me.

Today, I have the strong urge to get things back on track and get life closer to "normal".

Ideas are beckoning beckoning beckoning me and I have to get back to work.

I appreciate my many blessings, my home, my hub, my family and friends, my pugs, the air to breathe, art that will be made, and my heart that thinks.

Peace and creativity …

This Weekend

Friday, August 31st, 2007

I’ll be going out of town this weekend. In an attempt to avoid some of the labor day traffic I will leave at noon tomorrow and return home Sunday, I have no interest in flying, giving the confusion and congestion that will exist at the airport.  Going to spend some time with girlfriends.

I’ve seen that some artists are now hand making their business cards like miniature works of art. I would like to have plenty of blanks to take with me everywhere and work on them when I find myself having to wait somewhere for some reason, even if its just hand drawing.  I think people would be more inclined to keep a business card on their fridge if its an original work of art, although having business card blanks in addition to needing a purse and a camera and a journal for jotting down ideas and sketches, is probably just one more thing too much.

I’m interested in pursuing the cocooning idea further, some manner of three dimension. I was trying to envision felt for a cocoon, but not sure that I want to dabble into yet another media. Perhaps papier mache wrapped with something fibery like eyelash yarn and then smoothed out with resin to give a shiney veneer. Maybe. Would want to put little figures inside, so the cocoon would have to be openable or else the cocoon would have to be one with the figure. hmm, that may be the way to go, thinking out loud here. I would like to make them in two sizes, some doll size and some ornament size, yes I think I will do both.

A little bit of a tangent; here is Bjork singing cocoon, the guy caressing the head of the other guy has a microphone in his hand which creates subtle sound effects.

I really don’t understand how I got yellow oil paint all over my foot. Luckily it isn’t on the bottom of my foot where I might have tracked it through the house.

I’m very tired but unable to sleep.

My brother’s death is in my pores.